SWARTHOS

I need some time to rest my mind. You see, I’ve been going through these old family photos, scanning them and preparing to post them to a website in order to be preserved. But it’s difficult. I mean difficult as in the emotional toll it takes seeing these happier days caught in a moment of time. So fleeting, and then it’s behind you like a sign you pass along a highway, there for a moment and then quickly disappearing behind you.

Here’s one I never knew existed. It’s of my father and if I had to guess I’d say this would be around 1950 when he and my mother were first dating. This is likely Long Beach CA or there about. This image is a stark contrast from the image I have in my head of the last day I saw my father alive as he lie dying in a hospital bed at the age of 87. I wish I could have talked to my mom and dad about this photo, asked them what, where and when. What were you thinking, where were you going? I’ll never know.

Yes, it’s painful to see these moments frozen in time for they’ll never be again. Happy times when futures were filled with hope and many years to come. Their first child would not have been born yet, my oldest sister Leann who she herself passed away due to early onset Alzheimer’s recently this year on 27 January. Seeing her photos are also quite difficult to process as she and I were very close.

So I have many such photos to scan and categorize… But it’s a difficult task as nearly everyone in these hundreds of photos are no longer alive. I have one sibling remaining, my sister Laura who is 66, I myself am 61 but she seems uninterested in and unaffected by any of this so I alone press on.

I have to wipe the tears from my eyes and rest for a bit. There are many such undiscovered photos that I have to scan and prepare. It’s going to be a difficult task to complete but I believe it needs to be done.