SWARTHOS

The coffee, man, the glorious coffee! It’s the dark nectar of the gods, the only thing that can get a man through a three-year survey of the entire water system, every rusty connection, every weld creaking under the weight of decades. I’m talking about a project that’d give a camel an ulcer, but when you finally finish, man, it’s like climbing Mount Everest and seeing the sunrise – a pure, unadulterated rush of satisfaction.

So here I am, a Thursday morning in the belly of July 2024, Urt, my loyal canine companion, panting at my feet, his tail thumping a rhythm of anticipation. ‘Soon, boy,’ I growl, tapping away at this here blog entry, ‘Soon we’ll be tearing through the streets of La La Land in the Land Rover, the wind whipping through Urt’s fur, the world a blur of dust and freedom.’

The world’s gone batshit crazy, man. Politics is a circus, a freaking clown show of squawking monkeys throwing banana peels at each other. But I’m not playing that game. I’m shutting out the noise, letting the coffee wash over me, a warm, bitter wave of tranquility in the storm.

The year’s halfway gone, like a bullet train hurtling towards… well, I don’t know where, but it’s going to be one hell of a ride. Tomorrow will bring its own brand of chaos, but for now, I’m lost in the depths of my coffee mug, the world fading into a distant, meaningless hum. The only thing that matters right now is this steaming elixir and the promise of a joyride with my dog. Let the world spin, man, I’m taking a well earned break!