SWARTHOS

The sun was already a molten fist squeezing the sky, and the smog hung like a pale, greasy shroud over the whole damn city. I backed my chariot out of the driveway, slow and careful, like a Buddhist monk navigating a minefield of metaphysical existential dread.

Suddenly, a flash of chrome and a roar like a banshee on PCP ripped through the placid morning. A lunatic, hair slicked back with enough hairspray to choke a horse, was barreling down the street, a maniacal grin plastered on his face like he was auditioning for a sequel to “Death Race 2000”. He looked like an escaped mental patient, a living, breathing embodiment of the American Dream gone horribly, terrifyingly wrong.

I slammed on the brakes, the car groaning in protest, just as he shot past, a blur of speed and aggression. He roared off like a feral beast, then slammed on his brakes with a squeal of tires that made my teeth grate. He whipped his car around, the driver’s side door swinging open, and glared at me with a look that could curdle milk. But it was all just a pathetic facade, a last ditch attempt to mask the pathetic, insecure little man behind the wheel. He was all bluster and bravado, like a chihuahua trying to intimidate a Great Dane. I just stared back at him, deadpan, and watched him disappear into the shimmering heat haze.

The whole damn drive to the gas station was a freaking nightmare. This city, this festering, smog-choked hellhole they call Los Angeles, it’s a breeding ground for maniacs, for road rage and reckless abandon. Every day, you hear about some poor sap who got turned into roadkill by one of these speed-crazed psychos.

I filled up the tank, feeling like I’d just escaped a prison of chrome and rubber. Back home, safe and sound, I couldn’t help but think about that lunatic. He’d probably be back out there, spewing his toxic fumes into the already choked atmosphere, searching for his next victim. A low, primal fear, a whimper of a warning, echoed in the back of my mind.

Los Angeles: a city where the sun burns you from the inside out and the roads devour you whole. What a shithole.